mishadmitrikrushniccollins:

robotmango:

"keep an eye on him. keep two eyes on him. send me photos with your camera phone. i know how those work now. i will expect hourly updates sam make sure he eats enough vegetables you know how he is. make sure he has enough blankets."

I watched the episode this was exactly what he said.

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
Dad:Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad:Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad:Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad:Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad:Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad:Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad:I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad:Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad:Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad:Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad:It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad:Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad:*puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad:My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad:Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad:Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad:Fuck the government.
Dad:Fuck the school board.
Dad:Close the door.
Dad:Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad:I love puns.
Dad:People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad:Please shut up.
Dad:Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad:I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad:I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad:You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad:Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad:I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad:If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad:They act like I care what they think.
Dad:I hate homework.
Dad:I have decided to become a politician.
Dad:What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
French teacher:okay now say something in french
Me:Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe? Le sexe, je veux dire : l'activité physique, le coït. Tu aimes ça? Tu ne t'intéresses pas au sexe ? Les hommes pensent que les féministes détestent le sexe mais c'est une activité très stimulante et naturelle que les femmes adorent
family:why won't you come with us?
me:there must always be a stark at winterfell

braydaaan:

"Study" they say, "How to study" they don’t say.

girl-in-the-tardis:

firstofficerwillow:

arrogant characters

arrogant characters refusing to admit they care about people

arrogant characters not realizing they care about people

arrogant characters realizing they care about someone after something terrible happens to them

image

(Source: andragonyremade)

foxhero:

*browses own blog* amazing

(Source: foxhero-moved)

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

I really love villains

not in a ‘poor baby is so misunderstood’ way

in a ‘your amorality is so fascinating and delicious’ way

ohdamnthosecheekbones:

sheisdrawntothefire:

Fun Fact: I am VERY bad a hydrating myself. If I ever die unexpectedly it’s probably because I just forgot to drink water for a week. 

Hail hydration

graffeti:

there are 7,000,000,000 people on this planet do you know how many of them want to date me the answer is 0

(Source: infinitive)

deathexe:

(my body materializes out of the darkness) fuck that was sick. did I look cool dont lie dude.

Anonymous asked: I admit this is mainly to finally put it out there to someone, but I'm that stupid person who sorta fell for his straight friend. Like, we are basically best friends and roommates, have all the same interests. And it makes me kind of hate him for it, because that's hard when you're a geek. Again, mainly just wanted to actually say that to another person. Awkward sorry :(

Oh man, I can relate. I fell for a girl who’s straight, she talks to me all the time about this guy she likes and she’s always curious to know more about this mysterious girl I’m in love with, but she doesn’t know I’m in love with her

superwhopirate:

The only season finale I accept is Chuck coming back to smite Metatron.

"Bitch this is MY typewriter"

Ah fuck what is going on with my ask box I’m sorry guys some of the stuff is being posted public when I’m trying to keep it private?